It's completely normal to feel anxious about starting or returning to school. Even those who enjoy school can feel butterflies and for those less keen, they may become more clingy. As parents, we share these feelings too. Leaving a child, particularly a tearful one, at school for the first time can be very emotional!
Whether the anxiety is about starting a new class, having a new teacher, going to a new school, or facing school without a close friend who has moved away, these feelings are to be expected and for most children, will fade quickly. As parents and carers, our goal is to support our children without making their worries worse. While every child is unique, there are some common strategies that can help nervous children make a successful transition back to school.
Let your child know you hear them
Try not to dismiss any fears and brush them away. It might be tempting to say everything will be okay or compare them to other children who don’t appear anxious, but it helps children to feel reassured if you let them voice their fears and then hear you say that you understand and believe them. This can help them move on from negative emotions.
Listen to worries
Taking a calm and welcoming approach can often be the most effective method in encouraging sharing of worries and concerns, but remember that your role may not be to solve the issue, but rather to listen, acknowledge their emotions, and demonstrate confidence in their ability to handle the situation. Allowing them the space and time to figure things out on their own will foster crucial life skills, such as resilience.
Talk to friends
If going straight back into school is overwhelming, plan a playdate or encourage your child to meet up with school friends beforehand. This can dispel fears and make them feel excited about going back to school.
Get things ready
A special shopping trip just for them to buy a school bag, pencil case, lunchbox or stationery can also make them feel more positive and excited about going back to school.
Establish a consistent routine
Create a back to school routine together, such as choosing a set wake-up time and bedtime, and sorting out school bags and pencil cases, laying out clothes and planning lunches the night before to help minimise last-minute rushing and stress. The element of predictability provides a sense of security and stability, reducing anxiety and overwhelm.
On the first morning, let them style their hair how they want and have their favourite breakfast. These small efforts can help them feel secure and in control. And remember to stay calm and patient if they're slow to get ready for school - many children may not be at their best in the mornings, especially after a long break from the usual school routine.
Limit screen time
Limit screen time, especially on social media, as it can contribute to feelings of anxiety and inadequacy. It is also linked to poorer cognitive outcomes, affecting memory, language skills and academic performance. Studies suggest that excessive screen use can hinder social skills development, shorten attention spans and disrupt sleep patterns. Encourage screen-free time activities, particularly before bed, such as reading or playing board games, and ban phones from bedrooms.
Be optimistic
Create a positive atmosphere at home by talking cheerfully about the new school year, and all the happy and good things about going back to school. Expressing any negative opinions about your own school experiences or your child's school and teacher, can create a negative environment and increase their fear and anxiety. To end each day on a positive note, you and your child could each list three things that went well during the day and that they are looking forward to the next day, such as seeing friends. This can help balance out any negative emotions.
Plenty of sleep, exercise and a healthy diet
Begin adjusting sleeping and eating schedules at least one week prior to the school starting. Ensuring that they get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet and engage in physical activity will help them feel relaxed and calm. A lack of proper sleep, food and exercise can make children feel angry, irritable and restless.
Adequate and restful sleep is crucial for children’s growth and development. The Human Growth Hormone, a crucial hormone that plays a significant role in growth and development during childhood and adolescence, is most active during the deep sleep stages, especially during the first half of the night. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine will help to promote better sleep quality.
Teenagers, in particular, will find it difficult – a shift in sleep patterns from puberty can push the time they feel ready to sleep later by as much as two hours. Unfortunately, though, this doesn’t reduce the amount of sleep that they need (about nine hours a night). But sleep is important for mood and academic performance.
Help your child's brain development, memory, and concentration by incorporating brain-boosting foods into their daily diet. Essential vitamins, minerals, and omega-3 fatty acids in foods like blueberries, leafy greens, extra virgin olive oil and chia seeds support brain function and can positively impact emotions. Changing hormones make teens more susceptible, so it's important to avoid processed foods and sugars which can cause energy crashes and hinder concentration. Processed foods also contain additives, preservatives and colourings which can drive anxiety and behavioural changes in some children. Opt for organic, whole foods and natural sweeteners like honey or maple syrup in moderation.
Engaging in physical activities, like playing outside and participating in sports, can provide numerous benefits for children, including decreased stress and anxiety. By moving their bodies, whether it's through a game of tag or riding bikes, children release endorphins which are known to improve mood and reduce stress.
Let someone know
Teachers know all about back to school nerves and how to support an anxious child, but if you feel your little one may need a little extra support at drop off, let someone at school know. It’s important to not dwell on your child's anxieties but to praise their brave behaviour. Most children are pretty resilient and will recover quickly once mum or dad leaves and they have something else to focus on and keep them busy.
Stomach aches and headaches
Anxiety about school sometimes takes the form of headaches or stomach aches in the morning. If your child develops a pattern of these symptoms, (don’t overlook a medical problem), the most important thing a parent can do is to continue sending them to school anyway. This may be difficult, but if we allow children to avoid situations that make them anxious, we can inadvertently reinforce that those situations are indeed dangerous or scary.
Help your child learn relaxation techniques
Teaching children simple deep breathing exercises can be a great way to help them calm down when they are feeling anxious. By taking slow, deep breaths, children can activate their body's relaxation response and experience a sense of peace and calm. This can also help to lower their heart rate and reduce muscle tension. Encourage them to imagine breathing in positive energy and exhaling any worries or tension with each breath. These methods can be practiced before school starts and used when they begin to feel anxious about it.
Click here for some simple breathing exercises for children
Natural ways to support and help calm anxiety and nerves
Bach flower remedies such as Rescue Remedy are commonly used to alleviate stress and anxiety. They work by balancing emotional states (such as worry or fear) and alleviating negative feelings to create emotional harmony. Adding a few drops of Rescue Remedy to your child’s water can help them feel more at ease and centred throughout the day.
Incorporate magnesium-rich foods into your child’s diet such as leafy greens, nuts, seeds and whole grains to support their overall well-being. Magneisum supports sleep, muscles, and energy levels and without enough, children may experience poor concentration at school. Lavender oil is an excellent natural remedy to support children through the ups and downs. A few drops added to a diffuser in your child’s bedroom can help promote restful sleep and reduces nervous tension.
Homeopathic remedies also offer a gentle and holistic approach to stress and anxiety in emotionally sensitive children. Homeopathy provides a safe and non-invasive way to support children during the back-to-school transition. Seek the support of a qualified homeopath who can advise you on the most appropriate remedy for your child’s needs.
Nurture your child’s emotional wellbeing
Helping children manage back to school anxiety is so important. Establishing routines, limiting screen time and fostering healthy habits like balanced nutrition and adequate sleep provide stability and structure. Incorporating calming techniques like deep breathing equips them to effectively handle stress. Natural remedies such as Bach flower remedies offer additional gentle support. By combining these strategies, you can empower your child to face the new school year with confidence and emotional resilience.